Have you ever had book blindness? Have you ever walked into a bookshop and been overwhelmed by all that possibility? Bookshops remind me of my own mortality, they say "you will never be able to read all of us. Pick wisely. Pick true." My head swims, heart beat ups its tempo from strolling to chase-music, my eyes lose focus. I love that feeling. It is like the first time you fell in love, but with a loyalty card and three for £10 deals, and it happens over and over and over.
When I was 16 I had an earnest discussion with my Dad about why reading a book is a practical and useful thing to do with a day. He was not happy with my proud announcement that I had just read the whole of the Cement Garden, by Ian McEwan, when there were much more 'useful' chores to do around the house. Now I am in my thirties and my feelings about reading versus chores have not changed. Why should I do the hoovering when Atticus Finch, or Yossarian, or even a certain Bear with Little Brain can teach me something unique, unimpeachable and abiding, and still be entertaining at the same time?
My major book-consuming fault is that I cannot let a read book go. Libraries are useless for me, as I begrudge having to return the tomes I have borrowed. Up until recently I wasn't able to lend people books, because I suspected that they would have away with my property. This distrusted did not stem from any deep seated misanthropy, rather from knowing that if roles were reversed, I would definitely lay claim to the lent book.
The hoarding urge has lessened over the years, but the bibliophilia remains strong. The only book I will not read is The Da Vinci Code...you know, that one. It has become a point of honour, like a pledge made at a bedside or battle field.
In real life I have had a fistful of poems published and won a stand up comedy talent competition. But please don't use this information to place any value towards the greatness of my insight, or the profoundness of my prose; that way disappointment lies. I'm only mentioning them because you might find that I occasionally have use for a stupid simile feel the need for a bit of reductio ad absurdum. (Don't worry that will be the only bit of Latin that will turn up here.)
All the best
James
May 2012
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